


You gotta do the cooking by the book

by ineffablepuns



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Aziraphale is a Mess (Good Omens), Baking, Fluff, Good Omens Celebration 2020, Ineffable Idiots (Good Omens), M/M, Post-Almost Apocalypse (Good Omens), Post-Episode: Good Omens: Lockdown, Protective Crowley (Good Omens), but we love him anyways!!!!, in a very silly way
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-15
Updated: 2020-05-15
Packaged: 2021-03-03 05:42:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 940
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24189862
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ineffablepuns/pseuds/ineffablepuns
Summary: While baking during lockdown, Aziraphale faces the temptation of eating the batter instead of waiting for the oven to preheat, and Crowley makes an unexpected visit.
Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 51
Collections: Good Omens Celebration





	You gotta do the cooking by the book

**Author's Note:**

> Dusted off an old draft for the Good Omens Celebration Day 14: Food! I think it was originally inspired by a Tumblr post that's like "Who's Sal Monella? IDK her," which was also what I considered titling this.

Aziraphale insists there are certain things that are best done without miracles. For one thing, clothes are much nicer when they're purchased from a local tailor and fitted to his corporation. Even though he hasn't done that in many years, the point still stands. 

Another thing is food. 

He's not above miracling ingredients into existence. In fact, he does it more often than he thinks by accident. Many restaurant owners and chefs have been baffled by a sudden increase in their inventory that lets them make this certain bookseller's favorite meal. But the actual dish, he insists, should be made in the most "human" way possible. Which is why, with all the shops closed, he's making his own desserts in lockdown instead of miracling a few his way. 

Today, he starts with a simple box of brownie mix. It takes no time to throw in the butter, eggs, milk, and a handful or two of extra chocolate chips and stir it altogether. The oven is a different story. Sure, he could snap his fingers and have it jump to the right temperature, but he is trying to keep the miracles to a minimum. He can wait.

Oh, but the batter looks so delicious, and brownies take almost an hour to cook and another twenty minutes to cool... 

He dips a clean spoon into the bowl and eats a mouthful, humming happily at the sweet taste. He enjoys a few more bites, weakly tells himself to stop, and then takes a few more. Before the oven timer even dings, almost half the batter is gone and Aziraphale is content with eating the rest of it instead of actually baking the brownies. As he digs in for another spoonful, he hears footsteps approaching the kitchen and a casual, "Still baking, angel? Whatever it is, it smells good."

"Oh, Crowley! In here," Aziraphale responds. He turns around to greet Crowley, spoon halfway in his mouth, and watches as the demon freezes mid-saunter under the doorway. Even with his glasses on, Aziraphale can feel the way Crowley's eyes trail from the spoon in his mouth to the half-empty bowl of batter. It makes him wiggle a bit in anticipation, not sure what's going through the demon's imaginative mind. Giving the spoon a final (and unnecessarily slow) lick, he asks, "Is something the matter?" 

"Are you eating the batter?"

That's not what Aziraphale expected. "Well, yes, but it's just as good as the real cooked thing," he dips the spoon in the batter again, intent on getting another bite, when Crowley jerks into action and yanks the spoon away. "My dear."

"You can't eat this stuff!" He throws up his hands, the spoon dripping batter onto his hand and wrist. "You could get sssick from the egg..? Yeah, it'ssss the egg that's bad for you when it's not cooked!"

"I've done this many times before and have never—"

"You sssssshouldn't be doing it at all! What if you get sssssick this time?"

Aziraphale, growing annoyed at his snack being interrupted (and frustrated that this conversation did not go as he thought it would), snatches back the spoon. "Crowley, we are an angel and a demon. The egg is not going to kill me." He makes a quick gesture at Crowley's arm. "And you've dripped it all over your hand. Would you like me to get that for you, or do you think it's still too dangerous for me to eat?"

As expected, Crowley makes a series of unintelligible noises and hurries over to the sink to wash his hands clean. He lets his glasses slip down enough to give the batter a fierce glare, and it shifts in the bowl, moving away from him. "It better not hurt you."

"Oh, stop threatening my dessert." Aziraphale reaches in for another bite, but "miraculously," the batter disappears from the spoon before it reaches his lips. He turns to glare at Crowley, who's avoiding eye contact and studying the towel in his hands. "Really, my dear?"

"Let me- Just let"—the oven timer finally dings—"Let me make you some cooked brownies. My treat." With a snap, Aziraphale's batter disappears and a new box of brownie mix (a dark chocolate blend) takes it place. 

Aziraphale sighs as Crowley jumps into action, mixing the ingredients and threatening his oven to "cook the brownies to perfection or else". Truthfully, it's all rather sweet, if not also incredibly silly that Crowley worried so much over uncooked batter. It wouldn't do to tell Crowley now how much of the "dangerous" batter he's sampled throughout this lockdown or that he'd likely do it a few more times if this lockdown persisted. Which...

"Wait, Crowley! What are you doing here? I thought you were taking a nap until July! We aren't— We _shouldn't be_ —"

The demon makes a vague noise, almost like he would be waving off Aziraphale's concerns if his hands weren't busy. Once he slides the dish into the oven, he turns back to the angel. "Nap ended a little early, and don't worry. I didn't tempt anyone along the way, just popped right over. Wine while we wait?" He walks toward the backroom before Aziraphale even gets the chance to object, not that he plans on it. He enjoys Crowley's company an awful lot, and it seems pointless to make him leave now that he's here. Wine or not, having Crowley with him will make the lockdown more enjoyable. He wiggles, again, as an idea strikes him. 

Crowley did want to watch him eat cake, and Aziraphale wouldn't mind putting on a bit of a show when the brownies are ready. 

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed! You can find me on Tumblr at ineffablepuns (it's where I cry about GO a lot)!


End file.
